I am so0o0o0o sowwey for being MIA fore the past like 5 months… LOL life got a little crazy. BUT I COME BACK WITH WHAT I HOPE IS A FUN AND EGGCITING POST!! (:
So, my friend Crystal has a blog (Happy Chomp - GO FOLLOW NOW) where she…
I love everything about her, and I’m not a guy who says that lightly. I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life. I thought love was just something idiots thought they felt, but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to. And there have been times that I wanted to. It has been…overwhelming, and humbling, and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her anymore than I could stop breathing. I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her…more than she knows.
Walking dead! Homeland! Sons of Anarchy! and #potstickers #dumplings #foodporn
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It’s in the silent moments, when I find myself in deep thought. Like right now, I am lying on my bed, while the whole house is sound asleep. And here I am, soaking up the silence. I reflect upon my day before I delve further into my week and before I know it, I start reminiscing about the past and foretelling my future. I have been doing that a lot lately, though. I mean, who doesn’t think about their life and where they’re going to end up. Will I be successful or will I fail? Will I be married or will I be alone? Will I be happy with what my life comes to be?
I’m happy. I mean right now I am, anyways. How could I not be? I have amazing friends and an amazing family that spoil me in so many more ways than you can imagine. And I have so much going for me - so much opportunity that is just waiting to be grasped. Yet, for some unknown reason, I’m not taking it. I feel my hand reaching out, my fingertips hovering over this “opportunity”, but I just can’t bring myself to stretch a lil bit further and snatch it from its place. I guess I’m scared that if life see’s me take it, it will find a way to rip it away from me. I hate to lose. But even worse, I hate feeling lost.
That’s kind of what I am feeling right now, though. I’m lost and confused and scared about my future and about growing up. I still have no realistic idea of what I want to be in the future and that scares me because I feel like the clock is ticking. Because honestly, what are the chances of me becoming a superstar or the CEO of E! Entertainment? Before I know it, another year will pass, and then another, and another. What if after all those years, I’m still stuck in the same place I am now? Lost. Confused. Scared.
I guess everyone goes through this stage at some point in their life and eventually, or hopefully, they all overcome it. That thought is what’s giving me hope. Knowing that everyone eventually finds their way. But this hope at the end of the tunnel is so far down that I don’t know if I can really hold on to it as tightly as I wish I could. Because right now, I honestly don’t know what I am doing. I’m just living life, day by day, hoping for a miracle. Wishing that, one of these days, I will find some clarity in my life and in my future.
Until then, all I have are these moments of solitude. These moments of peace. These moments of fear.
These moments of silence.
my #phat cousin sydney! #fatbaby (Taken with Instagram)
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HEADIN’ TO MICHAEL JACKSON THE IMMORTAL WORLD TOUR !!!!! (: (: (: VIP TICKETS WUT WUT !!! DENKS KIMI & GOO HUM <3 IM SO0O0O0O0O0O0O EGGCITES !!! ! ! !! !!! ! !!! !
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